A Day in My Miserable Life Without You
by Alice Stein
Summary: This is based off an rp between me and someone else, rated T for swears. It also very briefly mentions Hungary, from Axis Powers Hetalia, but that's it. Can Alice Stein continue her life when her beloved husband leaves her behind?
1. Chapter 1

"Lazy bitch. Hey, LAZY BITCH." Jira scowls, hitting my arm.

"Mm?"

"Watch my son, got it? JASPER, COME JUMP ON GRANDMA."

"Please, call me Abuela... I-It makes me feel less old and you should embrace your Spanish roots more." I say softly, sitting up and sighing. My daughter was so beautiful... Snow white hair, red eyes that could stare through anything... She almost looks like her father...

"Abuelita! Mama, why is abuelita crying?" Jasper questioned frantically as he climbed up onto my bed.

"Oi, why are you crying NOW?" Jira sighed, staring at me like I did something to piss her off. I feel my cheeks and notice that I, indeed, started to cry.

"Oh, don't worry... It's nothing.." I smile weakly. "I'm up, so you can leave now, sweetie.. okay?"

"Fine. Weber will come to pick him up at the same time, got it? Bye bye, Jasper!" my daughter looks to me one last time, her expression one of unmatchable disgust, as she leaves my room. My stomach was churning, and my tears weren't stopping.

"Abuelita? What's wrong?" my grandson asks softly again.

"Abuela está bien, no te preocupes." I whisper to him. He nods unsurely.

"Okay..."

"How about this? You go play in your playroom your great uncle Adriano built for you while Abuela gets dressed and gets breakfast ready?" I sniffle. He nods more and rolls off my bed, rushing to his playroom. I close the door and walk into the bathroom. I close THAT door and lean against it, sliding down into a sitting position. My illegitimate daughter (well, ONE of the two) was murdered, my twin brother was murdered, the person who took care of me when I was little before my father and eldest brother found me, all murdered. I only know the last one's murderer. He was the man I married. The man I love. The man whose child I bore. The man whom I used to draw headless during my time in the hospital way back when. I knew I wasn't a normal child, a normal child never got bodily pains whenever Panama was going through hard times. I remember what I came into the bathroom for and readied my shower. As I step in, more tears sting my eyes. When you think about it, I never got to see Adelita get married, I never got to see what her children would look like, I never got to threaten the man she would marry to be good to my little 'Lita or else he'd have a mass murderer on his tail. She was only about twenty-two, much too young to die. I sit on the floor of my shower and let the balmy water wash over me as I began to sob. I had absolutely no notice. None at all. I only knew that she along with Adriano were murdered when I was in the hospital after that fight with Hungary (Damn, that bitch was strong. And my stupid conquistador spirit didn't help at all, causing me to stay unconscious for about forty. fucking. hours.). I cried until I was out of tears. It was a pretty long time until I finally stood back up (albeit my legs were now stiff and shaky) and finished my shower, my shampoo untouched. I tie my bathrobe around me and walk out to get to my closet.

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><p><em>AN: Yep. Here you go. I'm actually writing angst. I dunno how I got the idea though; it just... Randomly popped up in my head. This is actually based off an rp I did with someone else. Jira basically hates her mother (Alice) because this genetic thing.. it's hard to explain, honestly. You'd have to talk to the person who created the genetic disorder, I suppose you could call it. And Adelita is one of the three children (well, triplets) Alice had when she was raped (Long story, also from an rp) a while back. _

_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER OR HUNGARY FROM AXIS POWERS HETALIA. THEY BELONG TO ATSUSHI OHKUBO SAN AND HIMA-PAPA (Hidekaz Himaruya)._


	2. Chapter 2

"Abuela."

"Hm? Sí, Jasper?"

"Can I pick out your outfit today? Abuela used to wear such pretty colors! Now you only wear black." he asked me, looking at me intently. I found myself unable to tell him no.

"Supongo que sí, mi pequeño nieto. Usted puede elegir lo que la abuela lleva hoy en día."

I sigh, a half-hearted smile tugging at my lips.

"Yay!" he cheered as he rushed to my closet. He managed to pick a white dress with black trim out. "Wear this, Abuela! It'd make me so happy! I want to see you in bright colors again!" I stare at the dress, like he was showing me something foreign. The pureness of the dress almost hurt my eyes. I wasn't used to wearing bright colors anymore. I wasn't used to bright colors period. My body had started to reject bright colors altogether, even my eyes looked darker and a bit duller. He looked up to me and smiled a hopeful smile. Hopeful to get his old grandmother back. I watched as he laid the dress on the bed and began to walk to the door.

"Abuela, please change into it, please!"

"Okay, I will." I reply as he walks out the door and closes it. I sigh and stare at the dress once more. If my sweet little Jasper wants me to wear this, then I should. Right? I walk over to my bed and sit down, looking to my bedside table. A little box along with a photo sat on the small table. I move the box to my lap as I grasp the picture. I don't know who took this picture, but they obviously took it with an old fashioned camera (which is weird, those kind of cameras are rare) when we were having a rare, tender moment. Laying the photo beside me, I open the small box and took out one of the only two objects in there: a little note. The other object was a small ring. My wedding ring. I still remember when he first slipped it onto my finger, how he delicately (A/N: read: less than delicately and basically pushed) placed it on my finger. A promise to stay together until death do us part... Sniffling, I re-read the note.

_Hey… I want you to remember this: You and Jira were the closest things to happiness in my life… Unfortunately I have to leave like always… Goodbye._

I smile faintly as I press the note to my chest, as if I was trying to imprint the words onto my heart.

"Abuela! Are you done changing?" Jasper knocks on my door. I come back down from my space-out and placed the note back in the box.

"No, I'm not. But don't worry! I'll be right out, okay?" I say as I place the photo back onto my bedside table beside the box. "Abuela will be right out!"

"Okay!" he calls back to me, beginning to walk away. I sigh quietly and take off my robe, grabbing the dress off the bed and taking it off the hanger. Slipping on a pair of panties and a bra, I put the dress on and zip up the back.

"How… bright.." I murmur, looking at myself in the mirror. "Well, he did want to see me in it…." I shake my head and sigh, walking out to the kitchen.

"Abuela! You look so pretty! Why don't you dress like this everyday?" Jasper asks happily when I walk into the kitchen.

"I…I don't know, sweetie. What do you want for breakfast?" I reply, trying to smile for him. He frowns slightly at my forced smile, but brushes it off.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I did not write what the note says. Again, the person I rp with, she wrote it and she came up with Jira's genetic disorder thing on the spot, so I don't own that along with what the note says. Oh, and I forgot to say in the first chapter that I CANNOT SPEAK SPANISH (YET...) AND I USE(D) GOOGLE TRANSLATE FOR THE SPANISH._

_the picture: http:/ i615 .photobucket . com /albums / tt237/ toribird/ I traced the picture and edited it on an ipod app I have then on photobucket .com (erase the spaces)_

_Disclaimer: meh, look on the first chapter. I'm lazy._


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